You know those fake superhero Twitter accounts? Most of them are pretty lame. But you know whose isn't? God_Damn_Batman (Hey, even if it was, would YOU tell him? WE wouldn't!)
Check out our favorite tweets from the Dark Knight:
Hey Pattinson, lessons on real brooding: 1. Comb your hair down, you look retarded. 2. Watch your parents get murdered. 3. Get a cape.Watch out criminal scum, I'm trying to kick caffeine again. And we all remembered what happened last time, don't we? DON'T WE!!!
Robin's skipping patrols tonight to go see Twilight Eclipse. Unrelated note: Tomorrow's training to include punch-withstanding and wedgies.
Alfred, do you really expect me to peel string cheese wearing these gauntlets? THAT'S WHY I ASKED FOR LUNCHABLES!
Yeah, my parents are dead. What's that you were saying about hating Mondays?
Joker's face: make-up or permanent? Punch Test reveals nothing. Will try Concrete Dragging next.
Hey iPhone developers. Can we get crackin on the "Solving Lame Riddles" App already Thaaaaanks.
Found the Twilight novels under Robin's bed. Thought about mocking him, but considering his life expectancy decided to let him have his fun.
What do you tell a two-bit criminal with two broken arms? "I'm starting on your legs next."
Going to help with the clean up effort in the Gulf. And by "clean up effort" I mean breaking some BP exec's knee caps.
We'll miss you, Jack Bauer. If you ever come out of exile, I've got a pair of green ankle shoes and a yellow cape waiting.
I hate Mother's Day. It's a fake holiday created by greeting card companies and people whose parents aren't murdered.
Hey Tony Stark, there's a "Rich Drunk Douchebags Anonymous" meeting tomorrow. I'll sign you up for a seat. With my fists.
How come no one uses the "The" anymore? I miss the "The."
Arkham is a disgusting, human rights-violating hellhole. It's like my Disneyland.
First day of summer. Maybe I'll open a lemonade stand. Where the lemonade is compound fractures.
Sent from James' iPhone
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