And Gwyneth Paltrow can keep her GOOP. (Why does her tagline, "Nourish the Inner Aspect," seem both grammatically incorrect and weirdly euphemistic?)
I've never been a fan of any one-person celebrity brand offering housekeeping advice, recipes, and entertaining tips that lower my self-esteem. I have no wish to learn how to alphabetize my pillows, create a tulip garden in my bathroom, or make monogrammed napkins for all my friends at Christmas. I'm a decent cook, but I put little effort into presentation and adornment. Although I have nothing against so-called Domestic Divas, I'll never be one of them because I'd much rather take a nap. Oh, and my sofa is covered in dog hair.
So I was delighted to receive in the mail today Life's Too Short To Fold Fitted Sheets: Your Ultimate Guide to Domestic Liberation, by Lisa Quinn. It's just out from Chronicle Books, one of my favorite publishers. (I pretty much love all their books.)
Quinn, who lives in the Bay Area, is a self-described "recovering Marthaholic," so I like her already.
The book's tone is humorous, but the author's advice–on housekeeping, decor, etc.–is really useful and smart. (It's easy to follow, too.) She avoids sequins, pomp, and ceremony of any kind.
In her introduction, Quinn recalls the moment of revelation when she knew she could no longer worship Martha Stewart, or attempt to emulate her. The breaking point came while watching Stewart make a cranberry wreath during a holiday special. "She hand-sewed something close to 3,500 live cranberries onto a base constructed from sphagnum moss and chicken wire," Quinn writes. "The finished product was gorgeous; no one could deny its perfection." But she wondered if Stewart was crazy.
Life's Too Short contains no such madness. It's filled with "domestic shortcuts, rationalizations, cheats, compromises, inspiration, contradictions, and confessions." Best of all, Quinn writes, "I kept it short, because I know you're busy. Perfection is overrated."
Here's a sampling of some of the book's fantastic tips on feeling good about yourself and keeping your home reasonably tidy and stylish.
On Being Judged: "You are who you hang out with. Avoid negative, hateful people. That's consorting with the enemy."
On the Folly of Folding Fitted Sheets: "Quit stressing about it. Just wad it up the best you can, and shove it in the closet. Most of the wrinkles stretch out when you put the sheet on the bed, anyway."
On Optical Illusions: "Create the illusions of larger windows. Hang your curtain rod higher and wider than your window. When you attach the curtains, the window will appear wider and taller."
On Reading Newspapers, Not Cleaning With Them: "There was this rumor out there for a while that using recycled newspaper with your glass cleaner leaves a streak-free shine on your mirrors and chrome. The truth is newspaper can leave ink smears all over your glass and hands, and certain inks contain toxic ingredients….Invest in a microfiber cloth instead."
On A Quickie Bathroom Cleaning…With White Candles!: "Rub them on your bathroom grout to prevent mold and mildew."
On Closet Organizing: "Forget an expensive closet system. If you have a short dresser, slide it into your closet….Paint it the same color as the closet wall, and suddenly it's a custom closet."
On DIY Wall Murals: "You can make hand-painted wall murals quickly and easily with the help of an overhead projector….Pull graphic clip art images from the Internet–the less detail, the better. Place the image in the projector, and trace on your wall. Then color between the lines with a small, high-quality paintbrush….The finished product can be spectacular, and the process could not be easier."
For such a slim (166 pages) and beautifully designed book, Life's Too Short is impressively comprehensive. And Quinn proves that you can be an "expert" without being condescending to your readers or making them feel bad.
You can buy the book here, or here, or at your favorite local bookstore. Highly recommended!
Sent from James' iPhone
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